Be Your Own Center – Not Her Moon

How many men do you know – who, more or less – are pawns to their females? I can not tell you how many men I know who truly have handed their testicles, scrotum and all, to their woman for safe keeping. They become the masters, allowing or disallowing, approving or disapproving, and most males are eager to please in any way, as so much as she stays with him, and bangs him every once in awhile.

There are no doubt exceptions to this situation. But for the most part, there is a general trend as a male as being independent and strong, but upon entering a relationship, being worked on, and changing ourselves to a much less and more needy variety. Often times this is associated with the psychological urge not to lose her – emotions and bonds have developed – she's become an integral part of our daily lives. Upsetting her is something that might push her away. So we bend and sway and move around everything, sometimes even our own opinions and convictions, to appease her. But years later, we may find ourselves divorced or dumped, and are left standing, looking at our empty hands wondering where things went wrong.

We let ourselves lose ourselves. We let someone else frame and lead our lives. And in doing so, we undercut and eroded ourselves. How could she want to stay with such a thing?

Anytime we as individuals, as males, beginning orbiting our lives and our lifestyles around a woman, then we've already lost. It may not happen all at once – it may be a product of five or ten years, maybe fifteen. But what will end up happening, is the steady sacrifice of ourselves – often the same very things that attracted her to begin with – and in the end we find ourselves soft and manipulated, eroded down to some stump, sometimes on the losing end of a divorce or separation.

The key to being strong internally, from relationships to any interaction, is to create your own center around yourself. This does not say be selfish, or hurt others for strictly your benefit. But rather, live your life – set your goals – in ways that are enriching to you and your relationship to life. The greater satisfaction you create in your daily routines, in your relationship to work and play, and the other dimensions – the more powerful and enriching you'll be for others in your life. A man who respects himself often gains the respect of others. It is not done so by seeking their respect, but rather seeking a personal strength of relationship – a personal bond with oneself – that inspires curiosity and inspiration in others.

As hard as it can be, and as trusting as relationships can be, make you your own center. Fit into her schedule when yours allows. Do not sacrifice your life goals for any female. You live once, and you are you forever. People will come and go. But if you're not maximizing what you want out of your own life, then you may always find yourself discontented, even with a beautiful woman by your side (who may be calling the shots).

This is not a battle of control. But rather self-preservation as a human being. A man in control of his own orbit, will gladly attract some beautiful co-stellar bodies, who may wish to dance and orbit. A tango is not quite a tango if one person's energy is leading the whole dance. Like all things, it is an intermixing, a push and pull, a dynamic of giving and receiving that keeps things moving and growing. Letting ourselves dissolve (in our commitment towards our own personal progress) is sacrificing the very strength that often triggered for our attractiveness in the first place.