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There is a tool set that every man possesses. This tool set is so powerful that it when used wisely can turn a man into a saint. When he uses this tool set negligently, this same man becomes a fool.
Ironically, although we all possess these powerful tools, almost everyone takes them for granted. We use them so regularly, we do not even think about it. They are so basic and fundamental that we can not even form a complete thought without them.
So, what is this tool set we are talking about? The answer may surprise you. We are talking about words. Yes, words! It does not matter what language you speak, your words carry intense power.
1. What We Think:
Our thoughts control our entire life. What we think determines our actions, our attitude, and how we see ourselves. Our thoughts determine what we experience, and what we become in life.
We think only in two forms. The first is pictures and the second is words. What happens is we either see a picture in our mind and transform those pictures into words; or we kick start our images with words.
You may have an image in your mind of yourself in an office wearing a suit, standing in front of a chalk board talking to a table full of executives. This image could have many different meanings. We clarify these meanings with words. Even when we are only clarifying it to ourselves.
We often hear people say "This voice in my head said …." Now we joke about people being crazy when we hear voices and talk to ourselves but, the truth is, We all do it. This "little" voice in your head is not so "little" after all. This voice in your head is the driving force of everything we feel, do, achieve, or do not achieve in life.
If you have a low self esteem, who is to blame? The answer is you. How do you change your self image? You do it by changing your words. You do it by changing what you tell yourself!
2. The Effect We Have On Others:
One sentence can utterly change another person's life even when we do not mean or want it to. We must be careful.
Parents are notorious for yelling at their kids. "You good for nothing little …..". "You'll never amount to anything!" Now, I do not think these parents really want this to be true of their children. But, these kids may not know it. And, even if they do- they do not on a subconscious level.
Let's imagine for a moment that the kid that got yelled at in the paragraph above is thirty years old. He wants to move up in his company and the job he wants has an opening. As he is walking up to get an application from his boss, the words of his parents ring in his head "You'll never amount to anything!" He stops, turns around and goes back to his desk feeling defeated.
He never even tried. He could not muster enough confidence to even see if he could move up. Why? Because somewhere inside him is a little boy being shouted at by his parents. His parents were the almighty force in his life. The all knowing animals of childhood. If they did not believe in him then, who is he to second guess them?
Am I being dramatic? Could this really happen? It may seem like I'm exaggerating but studies show that this is exactly what happens in real life.
Do the parents mean for it to be this way? No. They usually do not even realize what they are doing. It seems harmless. This is the way our parents treated us. They are just words. "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me." Right? Wrong !!! Wrong !!! Wrong !!!
We are taught such things usually by a well meaning adult trying to stop the pain of a child who is being teased. But, nothing could be farther from the truth. These words can and do hurt. Usually much worse than a fist fight. A breeze to the body will heal reliably soon. A breeze to the heart may never heal. Then if it does, it does so very slowly and with a great deal of work.
I urge you to choose your words carefully. We will all say far too many harmful things in our lives, even when we consciously make an effort not to. If we do not at least try to monitor what we say, the results could be devastating.
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