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The signs and symptoms of a wayward spouse or partner can be either very subtle and hard to detect, or obvious and brazen.
1. Your Spouse suddenly takes keen interest in new music, whereas he/she has never shown an interest in before.
2. You notice your spouse or significant other making comments about a movie, You know you did not watch together; such as “Yeah, that was awesome” or “That movie sucked big time”, “Oh, I love the part when….”
3. Your man who has a disdain for doing laundry, suddenly loves doing his own laundry- with that said, he also seems to time his laundry duties soon after he arrives home.
4. The classic lipstick on the collar or other parts of his shirt. Pay attention also to unexplained glitter.
5. Another obvious red flag is the smell of another man’s or woman’s cologne or perfume on clothing, or hair.
6. Techniques and styles of sex suddenly become extremely different and foreign to you. I am talking way out of the norm here. You may find yourself in positions you had never done together before, or be asked to do things which was never requested of you before.
7. Sex itself can take unexpected turns regarding frequency. Your wayward spouse may suddenly request more sex than your normal routine, or drastically decline in wanting it at all.
8. Your partner’s mood has changed. You notice that he/she is now easily tempered, quick to snap or may pick fights with you deliberately to justify leaving the house to “Take a drive to think”.
9. You may notice that they suddenly keep their cell phones on silent and strapped to their bodies at all times; whereas before, the phone was kept on ringer and placed securely and easily within reach somewhere within a room in the home.
10. You may notice the cell phone going AWOL altogether. He/she may be locking the cell phone in the car altogether and not bringing it into the home at all.
11. Cell phone bills stop coming to the house altogether. When you look up the bill online, you see a pattern of the same number/ numbers being called.
12. You had access to the cell phone bill online, but the password suddenly has changed.
13. Household duties and chores become neglected. You notice your partner spending more time on the Internet or literally lazing around the couch with no interest with the upkeep of the house. He/ she is in a fog-like state, thinking about the other person.
14. Time spent with family also declines. Interest in weekend activities with yourself and the kids, attendance to children’s sports games, time spent alone with you such as date nights, etc….become greatly diminished.
15. More and more sudden and unexplained “Business Trips” keep popping up on the agenda.
16. You notice your significant other taking a drastic new interest on his or her appearance. You may notice a vast amount of new clothing, new colognes or perfumes, new hair-cuts, new shoes, new and different underwear being purchased.
17. You also may notice a sudden diet and exercise regimen they are on. They also may have taken up a new membership at a health club to get into better shape.
18. You may notice the Internet browser history always being deleted. This is a huge red flag to pay attention to. Anyone that deletes everything from the history, has something to hide.
19. You may in fact be accused yourself for having an affair.
20. You notice your partner talks and talks and talks continuously about a member of the opposite sex. He/she may try to even camouflage this person and claim they are gay and nothing is there to worry about.
21. You notice when you come face to face with your partner’s colleagues, that they become shifty and uneasy in your company, oftentimes with very little to say to you, or offer only nervous rambling.
22. Ditto that with mutual friends. If mutual friends suddenly become uneasy around you, they likely know something is up.
23. Usage of new terms of slang. If your partner suddenly takes keen to a new form of language expressions, whereas he has never said these types of words before, this is a sign and a red flag to pay attention to.
24. Mileage in the car does not match that of which he/she tells you they are driving. If you notice a sudden upward or downward spiral of mileage on the car, there is likely a problem.
25. You suddenly get a vast amount of hang up calls on your home phone; and in conjunction with this, the inbound number may be blocked from the caller’s end.
26. You suddenly are left out of functions, such as work holiday parties, or award dinners; whereas prior to this, spouses or significant others were always welcome.
27. You find yourself suddenly showered with unexplained gifts or offers of spending sprees out of the norm; usually unrelated to holidays, birthdays, etc… “Just Because” gifts are nice and everything, however, if your partner is usually stingy and frugal and suddenly showers you with stunning materialistic items, it may be due to feelings of guilt. You know your partner more than anyone, so if his/her spending habits on you suddenly spike, it may be something to be aware of.
28. Your partner who was once nonchalant about your daily plans and activities, may suddenly make a point to constantly inquire about them. If your partner suddenly wishes to know your detailed plans for any given day, such as time you are leaving the home, places you are going to actually be and a time you are going to return home, he/she may be making sure the coast is clear for his/her own activities.
29. Your spouse who was once a credit card only spender with no cash on-hand, suddenly sports large sums of unaccounted for cash in his/her wallet.
30. Finding condoms in his wallet or in his car, when you have already had your tubes tied or are on the pill.
31. Finding male enhancement pills or viagra in his car or in his briefcase.
32. You notice on the cell phone bill he/she is using a calling card frequently. Using a calling card on a cell phone prevents the cell phone company from logging the actual phone number dialed.
33. You are married, yet find yourself introduced to new people by your significant other (Such as at a party or function) as his “first wife”, or her “first husband”.
34. Your partner, who is not normally manicured “Down There”, suddenly begins to wax or shave.
35. You begin to notice the new habit that your significant other is leaving the wedding ring at home before going to work. This may be blatant and in plain sight, such as in the bathroom; or you may accidentally find the ring hidden somewhere such as a cabinet. After he/she comes home, you notice they put it back on. When confronted with this issue, you likely will receive a lame excuse such as “The ring is too tight, or it impairs me at work”.
36. You notice unaccounted for scratches, hickies or bruises on delicate parts of his/her body, such as the neck, breasts, chest or genital areas.
37. You notice on a group (work-related) signed greeting/holiday card that someone of the opposite sex signs their name with a doodled heart at the end or signs it with “Love”.
38. You find a “Just Because” thank you card from a member of the opposite sex tucked in his/her briefcase, thanking him/ her of the “Special friendship” they have and thanking them for all the “Help or advice” they give; and that they can’t imagine life without them in it.
39. Unaccounted for gift-like items show up in the home such as special cuff links, ties, colognes/perfumes, lingerie/underwear or jewelry that you know you did not give to your spouse.
40. That nagging and unsettling “Gut Feeling” that something is not right becomes constant and distracting to you. Gut feelings are rarely wrong.
41. You and your partner used to enjoy free flowing conversation, whereas now, you find yourself greeted with a mumbled hello at the end of the day, followed by stale and stagnant conversations for the rest of the evening. You notice your partner has lost interest in sharing feelings, dreams, and visions for your future together. You may find yourself literally sitting on the couch together all evening long with very little attention paid to you.
42. You may notice the passenger side of the car always readjusted, which does not fit your normal sitting pattern; or you may find strands of hair that don’t belong to you or your children on the interior of the car.
43. You normally take family vacations together as a family, yet he/she suddenly takes off on one solo.
44. You get slammed with an angry outburst over the most benign and innocent of questions. You begin to walk on eggshells in bewilderment and become afraid to even approach your spouse with inquiries.
45. Your joint bank accounts suddenly have less being deposited into them, or suddenly have vast amounts of withdrawals made; without your mutual consent.
46. You run a Google search with his or her name to discover a MySpace or Facebook account they did not tell you about. In conjunction with this, you run a Google search on known screen names they have utilized in the past and discover them belonging to forums of a sexual nature.
47. Similarly, you run his/her name or email address within a social networking search engine and find him/her belonging to places you were never aware of.
48. You discover a secret Post Office box they have rented out. In conjunction with this, you may notice incoming bills, especially the credit card bills no longer showing up at the home address. Keep in mind also, he/she could also be having bills mailed directly to his or her office in lieu of the home.
49. You were once free to come and go on the home computer only to find that your spouse has set up a password sensitive security system you can no longer access. He/she may make dual accounts on the same PC, but his/her own account may suddenly become inaccessible.
50. You notice he/she has set up a remote desktop location account on the PC and is accessing another computer entirely from your home.