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Talk about the G-spot has been buzzing since the time was coined in the 1980s. Although the scientific community is divided on the issue of whether a G-spot exists, it would be a good idea to try and find it out on your own. The bottom line is to explore your sexuality and see what works for you. You might need a sex toy designed for it, but many can achieve the same effect with their fingers, or sometimes their partners!
1. Focus on the means, not the ends
In many areas, focusing on the goal is what often makes us succeed. That attitude is not going to work here. In sexual matters, you always have to keep in mind that its the exploration that is of greater importance than the goal. If not, you will end up being frustrated at not achieving and that will take you away even further. Relax and remember to enjoy the ride even if it does not take you where you expect.
2. Arousal
Face it, this is not an academic exercise. As part of enjoying the process, you need to arouse yourself. Erotic literature or art works well. Foreplay with your partner is also excellent. This gets your blood pumping and the spot we are looking for should swell and make the process easier. If you are having problems with this, you need to seek professional help. Also visit the toilet to empty your bladder. You'll see why later.
3. Positioning
This might sometimes take time so pick a position that is good for you. You may want to sit down, lie on your bed (on your back or stomach) or even simply squat. Spread a towel underneath you. Rest your palm around your clitoris and insert your middle or ring finger into your vagina and curl them slightly. As you get used to it, you may want to use both fingers. If you need to, use lubrication, it will make the experience more pleasurable. You would need to insert your finger roughly until the middle of your finger, this of course depends on the length of your finger. You would expect to feel a rough, contoured area on the front wall of your vagina.
4. Observe the texture of the area
At the G-spot, the texture of the wall will be different. The walls of the vagina will feel smooth where the g-spot will be ridged and may feel a little "bumpy". When aroused, it will be engorged with blood so feel it at various levels of arousal to get the hang of it. It is important to get a feel of the spot so you can tell your partner as well.
5. Include toys in your exploration
You might find it tricky to use your fingers so it might be good to try out a couple of toys. There are typically shaped dildos or vibrators available in the market to this end. Lubicate your toy and insert it, slowly, until the tip is in contact with your g-spot. If you have practiced the previous steps properly, you would be able to get the feel of this part quite easily. Some toys are curved and this curvature may not always be to your requirements so you might want to be cautious when purchasing.
6. Variations
By now, you would have tried either pressing the g-spot, rubbing your fingers and even the tingle of a vibrating toy. When using your hands, most women find that they require moderate pressure to stimulate the spot. Using your fingers, you would use a "come here" movement you can also try pressing down on the spot and moving in circles. If you are using a toy, it would be similar to as if your partner was making love. You would need an in-out motion, but without pulling the toy all the way out or pushing it all the way in. As you get used to it, you might want to apply more pressure or thruster.
7. Do not forget the clitoris
If you have done things right, you feel will have a pleasurable sensation and will be more aroused than ever. Now that you're here, you can massage your clitoris to enhance the experience. Most women are fine with simply using their fingers and rubbing in a circular motion. Remember the lubrication!
8. Ejaculation
As you keep doing it, some women feel the need to pee. Since you have already been to the toilet, this should not be an excuse to urinate though it feels the same. You might be afraid to dirty the area but you were reminded to spread out a towel in the beginning. What ever it is, do not give up, if need be, simply release the pressure. It should be something like an ejaculation. The fluid is not pee even though it might appear similar. However, everyone responds differently, so do not be disheartened.
9. Everyone is different
This may or may not work on the first try but do not give up. Female sexuality is a complex interplay of physical and psychological factors so make sure, firstly, that you're not stressing it. Keep exploring and try different postures, toys, breathing patterns or even locations. Some women find kegel exercises useful. Ask your partner to help you out. When it comes to sexuality, different things work for different people. The most important thing to take note of is to keep varying your practices and focus on the exploration not the end goal.
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