The REAL Fake News

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Fake News:

Songs

If you were to count every song that had ever been written since the beginning of time, it would be a lot. Songs require special inspiration–very few songs have ever been written that weren’t inspired by something.

The Blue Danube, written by Carl Sagan, wasn’t initially a waltz. Carl was pondering the universe with his usual skepticism, wondering if it was really there, when suddenly in his mind, he was in a buggy going down a quaint country road, the sound of horses clop, clop, clopping inspired him to write a country song which eventually became the waltz we so love today.

Medical doctors were preparing to perform open heart surgery on James Blankinhut. The lead surgeon said, “Hand me the scalpel, please.” The assistant handed him a scalpel. After cutting into the skin, the doctor said, “Hand me a saw.” After sawing for a while, the doctor noticed that there was a cavity where the heart should have been. He looked blankly at Blankinhut as a song seeped out of that cavity. All of the medical personnel in that room heard, “I Left My Heart in San Francisco.” One of the most famous and iconic songs the world has ever known was inspired that day in the operating room. By the way, they were quickly able to retrieve that heart from San Francisco and successfully implant it in Blankinhut.

Blankinhut owes his life to that song. The doctors may not have been able to find his heart, which he had inadvertently left in that city he was recently traveling through if that song had not been inspirationally piped through his cavity.

Yes, indeed, there are amazing inspirations behind most songs. Today, you’ve heard two of them.

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Entomology vs Etymology

Ever since I was three years old, I have had trouble understanding the difference between entomology and etymology. Entomology is the study of bugs, but etymology is the study of words. What is it when you are looking for the origin of “bug, ” and you find bug eggs on your notes? Which came first, the bug or the eggs? Or was it the word?

Before the bug was named by Adam (who named all the creatures), what was it? This is where etymology becomes necessary. It was still a bug, but if you called to it, it probably wouldn’t answer. The origin of the word bug could easily lead to the study of entomology. A scientist looking at a strange looking bug might scratch his head in confusion and mutter, “This bugs me.” Is he opening up a can of worms? Are worms bugs? In doing that, is he using the science of entomology or etymology?

There are lots of similarities between entomology and etymology. Bugs have lots of legs; words have lots of letters. Bugs fly or walk, words quickly fly into our minds or creep slowly into our consciousness. Bugs inhabit the ground or trees; words take resident in our minds and hearts. I could go on, but you get the point.

From now on let’s vow not to be confused about the words entymology or etomology.

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Banana Thought He Was Stalked

George F. Banana thought he was being stalked yesterday, but in reality a monkey which had escaped from the zoo, was just walking down the sidewalk minding his own business.

When we walk down a sidewalk it may look like people are following us or that we are following them, but there is no need to panic or become accusatory. It is a sidewalk, for Pete’s sake. People, and sometimes escaped monkeys, walk on it. Get used to it. It is highly unlikely that you are stalking people in front of you or that people or monkeys behind you are stalking you. Get a life. Don’t worry so much.

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Murphy’s Law Is No Longer a Law but a Suggestion

Please notify everyone you know about the change to what used to be called Murphy’s Law. It is now called Murphy’s Suggestion. If anyone still believes that Murphy’s Law is a law and not a suggestion, they might ruin it for the rest of us.

Be sure to remember to put on your priority list that if anything bad can happen, it will is now Murphy’s Suggestion. There are no longer any penalties associated with breaking Murphy’s Law as it isn’t a law anymore. It’s a suggestion.