Dr. Frankel clearly identifies the common mistakes -101 in
all–that women commit unconsciously to sabotage their
careers. This book provides revolutionary guides to help
the women of today eliminate the girl-like behaviors they
became accustomed with, which hold them back professionally.
How You Play the Game
Unfortunately, women are not as trained to participate in
competitive sports. It is only recently that women started
making their marks in this field. Thus, most women do not
know the rules of the game of business. They simply do not
know how to play it–and more importantly, how to win it.
Some of the common mistakes women commit as they play the
game of business are: pretending it isn’t a game; playing
the game safely and within bounds; working hard; doing the
what you want; avoiding office politics; being the
conscience; protecting jerks; holding your tongue;
failing to capitalize on relationships; and, not
understanding the needs of your constituents.
How You Act
Being successful in the world of business is not only
dependent on your knowledge of how to play it. It is also
important to know how to act, professionally. Dr. Frankel
enumerates some unlikely behaviors in the workplace that
can be hard career busters.
These are: polling before making a decision; needing to
be liked; not needing to be liked; not asking questions
for fear of sounding stupid; acting like a man; telling
the whole truth and nothing but the truth (so help you
God); sharing too much personal information; being
overly concerned with offending others; denying the
importance of money; flirting; acquiescing to bullies;
decorating your office like your living room; feeding
others; offering a limp handshake; being financially
insecure; and, helping.
How You Think
Changing the way you think can greatly impact a change
in your career. Note the beliefs and thought patterns
you learn early in girlhood that you need to reconsider
and then eventually forget.
Some of these are: making miracles; taking full
responsibility; obediently following instructions;
viewing men in authority as father figures; limiting
your possibilities; ignoring the quid pro quo (something
that’s exchanged in return for something else); skipping
meetings; putting work ahead of your personal life;
letting people waste your time; prematurely abandoning
your career goals; ignoring the importance of network
relationships; refusing perks; making up negative
stories; and, striving for perfection.
How You Brand and Market Yourself
Marketing oneself is as important as marketing a
specific brand. Think of yourself as a brand that’s
needs to be marketed effectively. Alongside these come
some important points that women need to particularly
remember.
The following are some mistakes to avoid in marketing
yourself: falling to define your brand; minimizing your
work or position; using only your nickname or first name;
waiting to be noticed; refusing high-profile assignments;
being modest; staying in you safety zone; giving away
your ideas; working in stereotypical roles or
departments; ignoring feedback; and, being invisible;
How You Sound
Put special attention to your choice words, tone of voice,
speed of speech and thought organization process. These
usually matter more than the content of your speech. An
articulately delivered speech will help you be branded
as knowledgeable, confident and competent. Remember,
how you sound comprises 90% of your credibility.
Take note of these common mistakes: couching statements as
questions; using preambles; explaining; asking permission;
apologizing; using minimizing words; using qualifiers; not
answering the question; talking too fast; the inability to
speak the language of your business; using nonwords; using
touchy-feely language; sandwich-effect; speaking softly;
speaking at a higher-than-natural pitch; trailing voice
mails; failing to pause or reflect before responding.
How You Look
There is this common notion that “the best and the
brightest are rewarded with promotions and choice
assignments.” This is entirely wrong. Those who are
competent enough, sound and look good are the ones who
move forward in their careers. Statistically, research
shows that 55% of your credibility comes from how you
look; 38% from how you sound; and, only 7% from what
you actually say.
Carry yourself properly by avoiding these mistakes:
smiling inappropriately; taking up too little space;
using gestures inconsistent with your message; being
over- or underanimated; tilting your head; wearing
inappropriate makeup; wearing the wrong hairstyle;
dressing inappropriately; sitting on your foot; grooming
in public; sitting in meetings with your hands under
the table; wearing your reading glasses around your
neck; accessorizing too much; and, failing to maintain
eye contact;
How You Respond
It is important to know how to respond to the ways others
treat you. And some of the common pitfalls women do as a
response to a certain gesture are as follows:
Internalizing messages; believing others know more than
you; taking notes, getting coffee, and making copies;
tolerating inappropriate behavior; exhibiting too much
patience; accepting dead-end assignments; putting the
needs of others before your own; denying your power;
allowing yourself to be the scapegoat; accepting fait
accompli (irreversible or predetermined decisions);
permitting others’ mistakes to inconvenience you; being
the last to speak; playing the gender card; tolerating
sexual harassment; and, crying.
