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A pretty common issue that is often brought up regarding dating Chinese girls is the rumor or preconception that all Chinese girls like to take a relationship slowly. Many people believe that Chinese girls are very conservative, and dating them feels like a long and slow process. There is a bit of truth to this myth, but for the most part, it isn’t quite true. Chinese girls are like girls from any other culture. Love and sex come when they are comfortable with their partners. So where did this idea come from?
Historically, women in China have had a pretty rough life. They were seen as objects, even more so than in Western cultures. Fathers traded their daughter’s virginity for money and status. They would essentially sell off their daughters for marriage. If when the time came to consummate the marriage she was found not to be a virgin, she would be thrown out, shunned by her family, and resort to a life on the streets. Women in China had little to no rights for the most part of the last millennium.
Today, in modern China, the tremendous change and advancements made in the last 30 years are clearly visible. Women’s rights have become significantly stronger, and as a result, Chinese women have become more powerful and self-sufficient. They have gained control in many areas, and as a result have more power in a relationship. They can now dictate the speed at which a relationship develops, because they now play a much more significant financial role in the society.
In China, it is rather common to see boyfriends waiting on their girlfriends hand and foot. Chinese guys don’t hesitate to pampering their girlfriends by doing things like holding a their purses or carrying any bags they might have acquired while out shopping and so on. This just demonstrates how much power Chinese women have in a relationship.
As a Western man dating a Chinese woman, you have to respect her wishes in the relationship. In a multi-cultural relationship, both parties will make concessions and compromise. You may want to move quickly while she wants to go a bit slower, and all the while you must remain respectful. Chinese women will respond positively to your respect and you are more likely to have a healthy relationship that moves at the speed you want it to. Most importantly, never do things that make either of you uncomfortable and only move as fast as she is willing to.
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